there’re some mornings, I wake up, turn off the aircon, open the window, chilling wind and sun strike directly into my bedroom, I could breathe the smell of you. after sipping my breakfast tea and done with all those morning clichés, I would drive straight to the office listening to those funny mostly cheeky morning radio show. If the smell followed me to the office, as soon as I got to my desk I quickly plug my ipod in, click on those breathtaking songs, close my eyes and enjoying the pain.
and then they would call me a sick freak drama queen. I don’t care. It’s not pretentious thing I would do. at least I didn’t mean it even it’s judged like one. I need to stress this because I hate pretentious people, pretentious writings, pretentious fashion spread and daily doze of pretentious gesture of my boss. bugger off.
maybe it’s not you, meaning: not all about you. maybe I miss being secluded, I miss being selfish, nothing to worry about except myself and my husband, which I count him as myself as well, we’re one, a corny yet sweet love song would lyric. I miss having more than enough time to wandering around with the great feeling that I haven’t been ignoring my responsibilities. I miss the feeling of fulfilled as a human creature that actually well-deserved a normal life, not worrying too much about things like traffic or what if I traveled visiting my family outside the town, would someone rob my house? would it be safe to leave the house alone? can I sue the government for not protecting my property properly? etc.
enough said.
and oh yeah, life’s great so far because I cheer over little things like allowing myself to grab ice cream in a weekly grocery shopping, no need to iron my shirt when I thought I had to this morning, got a cliché parcel from my office and three bars of chocolate are included and happy thinking that I would having it one at a time on a grey’s anatomy dvd one-season-straight-away-session, no need to take a shower for an early breakfast with best friends and a long nap afterwards –oh me lazy bump-, and feeling fresh and fit after an individual session at the gym, then lunch and a smile-in-the-mind movie at cinema afterwards would be grand.
life’s great. and selfish.
and depression is so last year.
